The other night I received quite a wonderful download. As with most topics on this blog, the nature of my download concerns an expanded acceptance of reality. This download works across lives and it addresses the time matrix.
Two lives ago I was involved in strange cult existence that involved ritual sexual rape and genetic experimentation. One life ago I had a rest. Or at least, I think I had a rest. The thing is around 12-14 years of age two lives ago I killed myself to escape being tortured and kept in a cage alongside many other young men and women. There is some literature around this on the internet, if you want to go down that road. I wouldn't recommend it since when I began researching it after the memories were flooding my mind I fell into a deep despair to know that I wasn't "making this up", that it had actually happened to me, but sadly that it happened to others as well. The memory of that life came back to me in this life as the feeling of shame and as an ongoing struggle with suicidal tendencies. Neither of these are currently things that I struggle with now, but it took acknowledging what the hell happened through shamanic journeying and calling my soul, which had fragmented due to the trauma, to come back to me. In order to do this, I also had to begin working with my DNA. As my soul began returning to this embodiment I developed severe food allergies. I have always kept a balanced diet, but most of what my energetic body was reacting to is the pesticides or genetic modifications found in most common foods. I can no longer eat wheat, or dairy, corn or most meat. I had to work with my DNA to make it physically easier on myself to accept more of my soul. At first it was uncomfortable but as I began to work more diligently with my guides and angels the experience became more pleasurable. As a side note we are surrounded by presences who will gladly and lovingly help us with all aspects of our ascension journey. All you have to do is ask, and mean it.
Back to past lives, the gruesome rape life was another initiation into what I have shared with you on this blog beginning in the Illuminati Basic Training Post. The gentleman, if you can call him that, who was training me was actually just returning for me. He admitted to this, all of it, when I told him that I would no longer work for him, that he had been disingenuous about his intentions. This was not a part of the plan, and it was very upsetting to him.* As a young girl I had a nightmare that I was in the front drive washing my mother's car when a car driven by an older man with dark hair pulled up on across from our house on the far side of the road. There was something distinctly unpleasant about this individual. He began to open his car door and I let the hose fall from my hands as I began running inside. As I turned around the far side of the car there was a sponge on the floor that I slipped on, gashing open my leg, I quickly got up as he was now running toward me and ran to the front door. I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. He was RIGHT behind me, I turned to continue running but fell against an armchair that was positioned beneath a mirror in front of the front door. (BAD FENG SHUI) He swung the door opened and looked me square in the eye and promised me that he would return for me. I wanted to scream but I lost my voice.
I was so desperately shaken by this dream that the following day I proceeded to rearrange all of the furniture in my parent's living room so that there wouldn't be anything blocking the passage of the front door. I have continued the habit of rearranging furniture on a normal basis since then, something about energy getting blocked or trapped in particular configurations... I digress. In the way that children are like puppies I let this memory fall out of the front of my mind and I found myself, several weeks later, in exactly the situation I described to you in the dream above. While I had the good sense to move the arm chair that blocked clear passage, I did not remember to remove the sponge, which I tripped on- I have the scars on my legs to this day. In this real life experience I did not get caught against an arm chair when the strange many came after me, I ran directly right through the hallway to my parent's room, which was on the far left, to the bed of my mother, shaking. She was snoozing and I awoke her. She was startled and so was I, but as I often did with my mother as a child, I tried to remain calm so that she would not know everything that was happening- no idea what this is about, by the way. As I turned to the hallway to run toward my parents room I could hear the man pull the door open behind me, I forgot to lock it, and as I reached my mom and she woke up, we both heard the door slam. Who's here, she asked, I was terrified, a friend, I responded.
When I stopped working for this man he admitted to all of this. That it was him both interfering in my dreaming and in my waking life. The most disturbing aspect of all of this, however, is that I apparently gave him permission to do so. Which make sense, since free will is the only law observed in the universe. Someone told me not too long ago that Scientologists have their initiates sign a 1000 year long contract, why would the do this we should wonder, unless they recognize something about the nature of lives that most of us do not. The point is, be careful with contracts, but also, we can change our mind whenever we want. Our creator created grace and that is something to live by. Grace is not a fixed object or idea it is free, changeable and liberating.
Back to last past life where I think I took a moment of rest, I remember being a ball of light. Perhaps a star. I remember being very close to what I can only describe as the Sun, but understanding that sun as God. I remember a deep stillness and enveloping warmth. I remember celestial music, vibrating between all of us. There were so many of us orbiting this sun. I think this is why I love stars so much. That this memory is why I dream in Stars.
Last week as I was finishing the beautiful Charis Malloy Brown's 1st book, "Journal of a Starseed", I was particularly interested in a passage where she wrote about stars each having their own unique field of energy and information to share with us. We often experience this when we come across Light Ships and ask them, do you have anything to share with me, and then we are suddenly flooded with a wealth of information that we didn't have access to only moments before. Charis's postulation is very significant to me. In my download I was working with the Ascended Masters who were speaking to me about the angelic presence of stars, but also about themselves. Little nebulous right now but let me explain... In esoteric circles it is common knowledge that the Archangels and the Ascended Masters often take embodiments on earth. While they can appear here on earth they are also still in their full expression elsewhere in the universe and in between time and space. Woah dude, woah. This might not make sense, but if you have ever considered how so may people could be praying to the same God and the same time, consider this... that God/Light being/ Archangel/ Master can be manifest through many different forms and many different realities across multiple timelines without threatening or fragmenting the perfected power or presence of their essence. Their essence cannot be diluted, and does not subscribe to the limited mechanics of physics that we understand as reality. They are free.
As the Masters, and one in particular- St Germain, was working with me in this dream, I suddenly flashed back to that presence of myself as a star, this was followed by the passage in Charis's book and my mind went winding to my own relationships with stars. As a girl I often looked at them knowing that they were my home. Only now does it occur to me that perhaps while being here on earth that a greater, more complete self exists simultaneously somewhere in the universe as a star. A star that shares its essence with whatever individual is ready to remember itself. My friend who I saw the giant mothership with during the Reiki Master training had a huge "aha" moment after I told her about the formation we were observing not being an actual constellation. She mentioned that on her walk home some weeks earlier she looked at a star and experienced an almost blinding connection to new information being distributed to a part of her brain that she doesn't yet have access to. Maybe that star is her calling out to her self. I certainly wouldn't be surprised.
Who knows, we are all just hurtling through the universe at the speed of light, hopefully enjoying the ride.
Be loved,
Nicole
*Recently my guides have made it very clear to me that my soul path changed, that I changed it. I am not sure yet what this means but I suspect it has to to with my origins and my identification. We have all had many different incarnations in various locations throughout the galaxies, but for some reason my dragon guide, Mohimbraha, was very deliberate in telling me that I changed. Perhaps this has something to do with Mr. F's disappointment when I flipped the script, but I suspect that his reaction/ that dynamic is more micro and Mohimbraha is referring to something more macro.
Read more about St Germain, he keeps coming up for me:
http://www.health-forums.com/alt-support-schizophrenia/st-germain-shakespeare-147352.html
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