Eating Stars, Saint Germain and Alchemy Healing

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well. It's been a difficult and transitional time for a lot of us.  I know that many of us are struggling with our inner shadows and that the manner in which that manifests for each of us, while a direct reflection of our own consciousness, is challenging nonetheless. Much has happened since the last water healing that I performed on the full moon. I am not sure if I have shared with you yet what the technique I used is but I will in an upcoming posting. I also get the sense that I am supposed to wait until I have completed the 3rd one and let the dust settle from that experience before I begin to teach the technique. This technique, along with the one that I will explain later comes from my intuition. While I have studied some healing much of what I have been sharing with you in recent time comes through directly form work with my guide and higher self, my dreamwork and journeying and meditation. What I am trying to say is that we all have access to divine intelligence. Just because you've never heard of someone else doing what you're doing (or what you've been guided to do) doesn't mean it's not real. I can't stress enough the importance that you not only continue developing your intuitive world but anchor it into your daily living and share it with others. We are quite literally like puzzle pieces, alone we can be aware of what the larger puzzle might be but it's not until we begin finding other pieces and trying out different collaborations and codes with our shapes (knowledge/contribution) that we begin to really tap into the larger whole.

This is going to be a long one so hold onto your hat. :)

On a weekly basis or biweekly basis I have been "hanging out" virtually with my girlfriends. These are more or less the same girlfriends who I would spend a Friday night with anyway ad we all figured why not continue our tradition even if I am not physically in New York. The reason we do this is because these days we are all growing exponentially more quickly than we have ever been aware of before, it helps us to check in and share our new developments, experiences and understandings. Needless to say that sometimes putting the information together between us provides us with those "Aha...!!!" moments that I described above. Communities are important. Anyhow before we began the hangout this week I was meditating and I saw the being known as Saint Germain appear to me. He'd appeared to me in dreams several times throughout the week, not as Saint Germain but as Merlin.  He's also come to me as a poet. Ascended Masters take on many embodiments, sometimes simultaneously with others- human or other wise. They also live longer than we do because in their Ascension they have moved beyond the need to die in the same way that we do, to wither and age in the way that human consciousness expects to and therefore does. Anyhow, Saint Germain appeared to me before the conversation and though I was not completely clear on what the lesson was I had the distinct impression that he kissed me. However I have been going through some cosmic vertigo of my own and last night I decided to take the night off and just do something "normal". I decided to rent a movie called Hotel Transylvania and as I was reading about the movie I received a message about how the being known as Dracula IS an aspect of Saint Germain. So naturally I begin to research this- I linked above to one of the many articles that corroborate a similar story both historically and from other people who have taken on Saint Germain as a teacher as well. The thing is that despite St Germain being hundreds of years old he continued to appear as a man between the age of 40-50, also St Germain didn't eat food despite being invited to many dinner with various distinguished historical figures. It is thought that he had mastered the art of alchemy to the extent that didn't need to eat because he could literally absorb the the energy flowing through the air in between all things. Could you imagine? It makes sense if we consider that all matter has its own consciousness/energy- even our limited earth science has been able to determine this law of physics as fact. So imagine then the subtle possibility that we can harness nourishment from the energy of the constantly moving around around is in all things. This phenomenon is beginning to reemerge and is known as Breatharianism. It is also said that when the ancient chi gong masters went on their long journeys and rations began to dwindle, they would engage in an ancient activity that involved harnessing the energy of the stars and drawing it into their bodies for nourishment. They ATE STARS!

From the outside it would in fact appear that someone who didn't need food and who didn't age would easily be construed as what we have commonly come to accept as a vampire. But as with many words in our language, we must explore the root meaning of the word and often in the oldest dictionary we can get our hands on in order to unearth the true meaning of the word. So many words in our language have been purposely programmed to mean the opposite of what they actually mean. Take for instance the word demon or in its original form daemon which literally means "(in ancient Greek belief) a divinity or supernatural being of a nature between gods and humans or an inner or attendant spirit or inspiring force." This was the commonly accepted spelling and use of the work until the 19th century which begs the question regarding what was going on politically and religiously at that time... but I digress. It's important to know the root meaning of the words that you speak because even if others around you are still using the incorrect meaning of the word (because they are literally spelled- aha- where does the word spell come from and why is it that so many of the words that are meant to be scary, like demon, mispelled from their original form, like daemon) you can break through the spell and live in truth. 

So, I have been feeling low and as Saint Germain appeared to me it seemed that he kissed me.
Our guides often kiss us and in fact, they often provide for us whatever we perceive we are lacking. This kiss not only felt like comfort but is was also an initiation. Back to Hotel Transylvania, I thought it was adorable the the little bats became a violet light before becoming a vampire, coincidence much? I'll let you decide.

After the movie I decided to connect with St. Germain on a deeper level. I wanted to know him better and I wanted to receive his teachings more clearly.  So for the first few hours of my sleep time I was in a very intense night schooling. I was being given information so rapidly that I could not remember what was being said to me. I do however remember that I was being shown how to use the planets, stars, sun and moon to transmute, transform and alchemize for healing, attuning and manifestation.

The thing is that when I awoke this morning, I was still feeling terrible sadness. It was so bad that my third and fourth chakras physically hurt in my body. I intended on going to Yoga but I felt so aweful that I couldn't. Instead I decided to go outside and meditate. Along with me I took my iceland spar and a selenite wand and went through the traditional Kriya Techniques that I use to center and balance myself. I was feeling pretty aweful so I busted out some other ones as well. And then out of no where, my hand began to move into the shapes of different mudras and I felt my own kundalini energy moving along with my hands. I stopped at each chakra to pay attention to what was inside and do clearing- whether cutting or pulling cords or redirecting the energy flow.  I drew in energy from the sun to help me pull out what was no longer serving me. I found that my hands understood exactly how they needed to move and where they needed to stop to diperse, unblock or redirect. I continued this method all the way until my crown chakra. And then I meditated for a bit in absolutel stillness and freedom. The pain that had been in my heart center and manipura chakra had vanished. After a while I decided to reground my energy using the same method but amplifying the use of the sun. I physically began to draw the suns energy toward my body, much as one would pull a rope toward their body and allowed it to gather in the palms of my hands. I began with my aura letting the sun energy become grounded in my aura (with my eyes closed this looked like rainbows) and then funneled it into each chakra using my hands and the mudras that had come to me moments before. I knew that it was time to move on from each chakra when I found a sun glowing within each one of them. After doing this my intuition was to stand up and with cupped hands tap or slap my body.  The practice was very invigorating and healing. I feel much better and am thankful for that.

I realize that this alchemical healing, though I didn't know it, was what was taught to me last night by St Germain and since my conscious mind couldn't remember it- my higher self took over by way of physically moving my hands and using mudras to draw my consciousness upward, to dispell harmful presences and to physically gather the sun's energy. Seriously amazing stuff and I encourage you all to try.

A lot is coming in for me right now and for the last month or so, a little frustrating since it's taking away from my book writing mind but I think I will just surrender. This information that I am sharing with you guys is really important to spread and utilize. We belong to each other and to no thing and there are so many ways of tapping into this integration that are emerging. Surrender to your fears, your strengths and weaknesses, to your desire for more and better, to your urges and your wisdom. This will look different to each of us. Love yourself and love your fears and don't be afraid to move, sing, dance, dream, scream, cry, eat cake... don't be afraid to know that you are creating. You are creating with every fear, every joy, each and every action and I trust you to create a radiantly beautiful and peaceful world for yourself, for me and for all of us.

All my love,
Nicole

healing from the garden of your soul

Hi Loves,

During my morning walk today I was thinking about my brother. The same brother that I have written about on this blog and who I consciously recall sharing past lives with. The thing is that my brother is in the hospital, he hasn't been feeling well and so far the doctors he's seen have not been able to identify what is going on with him. They think it may be lymphoma because of deformities in his platelettes and high white count. I know that I wrote to you about the "cosmic flu" that often accompanies our awakenings, but the degree to which we experience this illness is unfortunately directly correlated to the degree in which we are resisting our awakening. For me, it was the presence of cancer in my body last year. Despite that I had done so much work the years before that, after having been diagnosed with a rare tick born illness, there were still patterns that were injuring my evolution- patterns that I would have to release and send healing to, but most importantly patterns that I had to admit to having in the first place. My ego did NOT want to do this. Surrendering to my imperfection has saved my life.

SO many of us have a choice, and we get to a place where that choice corners us into choosing. I love my brother so much and this is in no way a criticism of where he is on his path. I truly believe that all of our choices are valid and necessary... but I truly, truly, selfishly and humanly hope that he surrenders.

When he was first admitted to the hospital the other day I spent much of the day sending healing to him.   At some point I traveled deep inside of his being, and walked through his blood vessels and cells. I appealed to the beings of his physical manifestation and I noticed that there were two distinctly different beings present. One of them was fear- a somewhat deformed and fidgety deva, and the other was grace- a clear a structurally sound being. I exchanged energy and information with both of them and understood that they were both there based on his freewill.  I respectfully left them.

This morning on my walk I was thinking about this interaction and I was also looking at flowers. Somewhere in the land of spirit I saw my brother laying in a field bathed in golden sunlight. I was standing beside him and pouring flower petals over his body. There were possibly millions of flower petals from thousands of different species of flora. The earth was so generous when she created so many different resources to heal us and enrich our lives. Despite knowing that the gravity of this illness is largely contingent on my brother's decisions (un, sub and conscious), I still felt compelled to send this healing to him.

As I was doing so however, the flowers began to speak to me. I have spoken before about how I enjoy working with flower essences and that they have a strong impact on me but what the flowers, fairies and devas of flowers told me is that ever since the shift, and because so many of us have awakened, we can now consciously begin travel to this field again.  Each of our souls has its own garden where all of the plant medicine we will ever need is available to us.  They said that it is still valuable to work with flower essences, plants and crystals for that matter, especially because many of us are not yet at a point where we can maintain our energetic composure long enough to access the frequency it takes to travel there. But that we should become consciously aware that our soul's garden exists and attempt to calibrate to that field.  They also mentioned that as we begin to maintain our frequency enough to connect this field that we will be able to invoke the qualities of any flora or fauna in our field to become present in waking life and communicate to the energetic field of a situation or person through our voice. This makes sense since prana travels on the breath.

I also got the distinct impression that they healing resources that are available in your soul's garden will become increasingly more useful as humanity comes into their role more as inherently spiritual beings, and that the manifestation of soul healing instruments into our dimensionality will be almost instantaneous by a measure of our mind.

So... coming attractions are looking good.  Please try and access this field and let me know how it goes. Personally I think this is spectacular because many people don't afford flower essences and plant medicine, some can't find it in their communities.

Anyhow, I love you all and sorry that I haven't been blogging too much but I am working on my book and taking care of myself.

Travel in peace and joy,
Nicole

The human microcosm, a lesson from trees

Hi Everyone! I know it's been a while since I've written but it is because I am working on a book for you all. Lots of treats in there and some will be familiar to you from what you've read on this blog but the format is completely different and a lot of what I haven't shared here will appear in the book. Can't wait to see what happens.

Let me get to the point of this post because I would like to spend the majority of the day working on my book. The message I have been receiving and will transmit to you is centered around co-creation. In the second aspect of this channeling or instruction I will explain the activation I will be providing during upcoming retreats for 2013.

The first part of this download relates to my observation of trees on my walks here in Florida. During the shift over the last few weeks I've really begun to tune into the subtlety of tree ecosystems in the community where I am staying. I am not even talking about a group of trees either- I am referring to a single tree and all of its inhabitants. Or even more precisely- each aspect of the tree. Roots, trunk, bark, branches, twigs, leaves, and then the vines that curl around that tree- the moss that dangles from the leaves, the ants and squirrels, lizards and snakes. Each of these components represent a different aspect of the trees consciousness that makes the tree whole. As I zeroed in on this I began to communicate more clearly with the trees and their own divine microcosm. They mentioned to me that even the fact that I was there, as a passerby with an open heart, radiating my aura as I was walking down the street and observing the interaction, makes me a part of their ecosystem and a co-creator in their microcosm and vice-versa.

What the tree spirits explained to me is that each and every part of them exists for a specific purpose, even the bugs such as termites or butterflies and specific mosses that feed them and aid in their personal evolution (toward an ultimate shared evolution) are perfect and necessary beings.  That without their roots they would be sure to topple and without their branches they would not possess sufficient shelter for the animals that they co-create with. Even the color and moisture density of the sky serves to empower the specific photosynthetic process that allows each tree to provide the precise nourishment that each inhabitant needs and that in turn the fodder created by the inhabitants creates a rich and diverse soil for the tree. They mentioned that even the funguses that grow on the leaves destroying some of the growth serves a divine mission. The trees say that we live in an inherently chaotic multi-verse... that patterns of creation, sustenance and destruction are evident throughout all of creation- from the most base (atomic particles) to the most convoluted (ego), but that as human beings living in an age of severe density we have not been taught how to observe our own individual microcosm with grace. We have not been taught how to harmonize all aspects of ourselves, and therefore many of us still participate in the illusion of good and evil/bad, wrong and right, light and darkness, us vs. them.

But then the trees explained to me that when we begin to observe our own ecosystem with grace and without judgement, we can create an effect of integration of all aspects of ourselves, and change our environment through this practice. For example, someone might think that it's "bad" to be cheap but when cheapness is integrated it becomes temperance. Same with judgement, when integrated it becomes discernment. On another level addiction can become appreciation, rage- creativity. So the basis is to NOT deny any aspect of ourself that clearly exists but to make peace with it and live with it, recognizing it as an instrument in the perfect music of this life. Even sometimes when you have a sharp tongue (ahem- both fingers pointed at me here) you might think that you are prone to hurt people by criticizing them too severely, but in actuality your words may be exactly what another person needs to hear in order to emancipate themselves from a harmful pattern- in order for them to begin harmonizing their ecosystem. We must trust that we are in any given situation carrying the exact tools we so happen to be carrying for an express outcome. There are very few accidents in this life, and even fewer once you begin to reclaim your knowledge. The universes, planets, elements and nature, a child, mineral kingdom, animals- us, we possess an innate integrity that was designed to interact harmoniously with itself. A joyful and playful game, a sensual dance but a subjective experience nonetheless.

That last part is particularly relevant and salient to our own ecosystem. Rather than being programmed to recognize and interact with our divinity as God or Source's creation, in many instances we have been misguided to believe that we are separate from all things. That the world around us exists outside of us, but truth be told the world that we live in exists within us first and from that place within us we begin projecting our consciousness around us and literally creating our environment. Suffering in impoverished countries is an unfortunate but clear example of this... being brought up in poverty or in slums, alongside gangs or starvation, being taken advantage of by your stewards, etc. it creates ripples in the energetic field and understanding that a human being has of the world. This understanding slowly becomes assimilated as the reality of their circumstances and this is why it is so often difficult for people who are engendered in that environment to break free from that environment. The sadness, violence and desperation becomes an ongoing projection of their knowledge of life. It's terribly sad but it can be shifted both in the most severe cases and the most subtle.

A more subtle example of this deals with the uncovering of healing modalities returning to Gaian consciousness at our present moment. And it's not just the healing, it's the recalling of ancient information as well. For example after the initial instruction I was taught how to harmonize my own ecosystem to live in dignity with myself and the universe. I was also taught how to activate this in other people. This in no way means we will be perfect, by the way, but that we will confront our imperfection with more compassion and acceptance- ask it was lesson we still need to learn- and then continue on our evolution gracefully and with gratitude. How beautiful, right? And this is not to say that chaotic things will stop happening in the world, but from your place of harmony you will have the humility to seek out what this chaos is teaching you. Anyhow, as I was saying before- I could try to talk some of you through what my guides have shown me to activate your own microcosm, but many of you will struggle. The struggle comes from the part of us that believes that power is something outside of us, that in order to be healed we must lean on someone else. This is often the case with emerging healing modalities and I suppose that as with many things (unless you have a fairly developed relationship with your higher Self) there is a bit of a learning curve. Relating back to the example of suffering, by virtue of thinking and understanding that we cannot do the activation ourselves- we create an environment where we cannot. The moment you say, "I can't do that" you're kind of a) letting yourself off the hook and b) denying your own perfection.

That's why my intuition leads me to introduce the microcosm activation within the retreat environment and workshops first.  When experiencing new things and dealing with the cognitive dissonance that often arises in the breakdown of old paradigms, people get freaked out or stressed out. I don't want to feed that, I rather share in a safe environment where people are receptive enough on some level of their consciousness to just be there. My heart's hope is that within an intimate setting some of the programs that hold us back from owning our graceful and powerful creator presence will be shaken loose or harmonized during the activation. From that unified space, my dream is that the individuals who receive the activation will go out into their communities and began to share this activation with their loved ones and others. By integrating our own human microcosm with love, more and more healing modalities, activations and empowerments will reemerge. It's our birthright to use and share the tools of our heritage as spiritual beings. I can't wait to share this activation with people. And please, if you are in contact with your spirit guides and higher self and please just try it, you don't need my permission- this is not an original idea. Everything I Am belongs to God and comes from God- so it belongs to you as well.  Let me know how it goes.

Love love love you,
Nicole

road tripped

Hello Beauties,

Welcome to 2013, where shit's about to get real cray. Ha ha, just kidding maybe. Seriously, how exciting to be alive in the future now. :)

I want to share a few experiences that came my way on my road trip to Florida. First off, I left super late and drove into the night through roads in Virginia and North Carolina that didn't have street lights and without GPS. Before leaving my apartment in Brooklyn I wrote down directions on a piece of paper. Before the ride I gave the car a Sei Hei Ki Reiki treatment and called upon my guardians, ancestors and guides to hop on for a road trip.

While I was driving I kept seeing the image of a bow and arrow flash across the screen of my mind. This is one of the symbols present in depictions of the goddess Diana and Artemis, who are constantly with me these days- but I recognize too, for my whole life.  Another download I received has to do with the cross. A cross, similar to celtic braiding that redirects or chokes energy, has a way of cutting off our lower three chakras from our upper 3 chakras by creating a "lid" with the use of a monolith. This is why many Christians are blind followers to an outmoded tradition that for all intents and purposes is based on actual accounts of a loving being who is no more divine than they are, but whose true story and origin has been obfuscated for reasons too boringly obtuse to discuss.

Let's dig deeper into this because I received a wealth of information about how using the cross and identifying with the cross literally gives most people that wear it a sort of "cross to bear" in terms of being cut off from unconditional love towards others and SELF (4th chakra), their authentic truth and creator power (5th chakra), their intuition and subsequent navigation (6th chakra) and their ability to truly connect with the divine and universal consciousness and ultimate highest self (7th Chakra). A realization that would likely cause an implosion of their outmoded and incomplete belief system based on their newfound ability to recognize the truth.

Now, I am not speaking against Christianity. I love Christ and many of you who know me know that Jesus Christ is one of my spirit guides and he was the being that helped me to understand and ground me through my awakening. But I am speaking against the holders of information who are using symbols and the language of light to lull the masses into a somnambulant state, without the hope of knowing how or why they got there. Worse yet, because the cross cuts of at the heart, there is also a subliminal patterning to be weary about touching, being touched or reaching- including asking for help. Promoting the sense of unworthiness, sound familiar? The worst kind of selfishness is selfish selflessness. The worst kind of humility is the one striving to be recognized, if you find yourself relating to either of these statements- it completely okay, there is probably some healing that you may benefit from, something you can do yourself. It also keeps many, not all, Christians trapped in the lower three chakras all the while holding tenets that suggest that indulging in the lower three chakra activities are actually damaging to your spiritual evolution and may bar you from heaven. Heaven is here and now, it exists within our hearts and within every inspired and kind act that takes place.  Also, simultaneously while the symbol of the cross keeps us in our lower chakras the world around us, the world curated by the same handful of families who created the Catholic Church and who continue to drive the power structure (albeit they are really getting their butts kicked now) and who also own interests in most of the world's conglomerates, flood our world, our lives with images of more- more possessions, bigger houses, nicer cars, newer clothes, THINGS (3rd Chakra), with images of unbalanced sex and violence (2nd chakra) and through exploitation of our weaknesses create instability in the financial structures that constantly have us worrying over our "stability, home and jobs" (1st chakra).  I believe that you can be an educated Christian. I also believe that OSHO wasn't an asshole just because he slept with a bunch of his students... this is the ultimate teaching in some senses.  It's a kind of, "how free from your judgement are you actually?" ouchie lesson.  But this sort of thing teaches us to stop placing so much of your wealth (your spirit and power) on others who are just as human as you are.  Doing this also has a way of skirting our own personal responsibility, as when others fail we can place the onus of that failure on them and our disappointment on them rather than engaging with our true selves at all.

There were also moments on my drive where I felt lifted out of my body and I "spaced out" and when I would come back, it would be in time to get gas and I would be hundreds of miles forward on my trip than I was when I wasn't "spaced out". I guess that is what happens when you pack your car with angels.

The last thing that I want to share with you, and this became very evident to me, is the abuse from the light worker community for the cost of services. I have no problem with abundance, but some of the rates that people charge to do "healing" is actually injurious to those who need it most but cannot afford certain sums of money due to their circumstances. And especially when one is in a "my circumstances" place, completely cut off from their manifestation power- these are the people who will benefit most. Let me be clear, my guides did not say that energy healers, etc. should freely provide services but that it should truly be an equal exchange of energy. This is the way that the new energy paradigms should be practiced in order to establish and maintain equilibrium. I think that this is an important idea to truly consider from your heart. I know with one of my clients, who is also a dear dear friend, that I have decided to make our sessions more accessible to her by adjusting the rate of an hourly session to reflect whatever the average amount of hourly money she made that week is. She is in the service industry, so this fluctuates but in no way should that fluctuation bar her from receiving something that nurtures her evolution.  An hour for hour, think about it.

Anyhow, I should run but I have so many other bits and pieces to share with you all and as always- whether on here or privately, I love hearing about your journeys.

Namaste,
Nicole

Black, White & Grey

I began writing this post exactly a month ago. I took longer with it because I was navigating how to share the information. Like many of you, I work with spirit guides. There is some dissonance amongst channelers about what exactly those guides are. Some people say that they are angels, some say that they are deities or devas or ascended masters. Some will claim to work with the elemental energies, the faeries and dragons, mermaids, dolphins and whales. Others will outright tell you that they do work with ETs.

I would consider myself as someone who has connected with most of the beings named and then some. Some people think that every interaction we have is an interaction with ETs and that they project images into our head or consciousness of beings that we would commonly know as angels or Gods to make it easier for us to interact with them without our consciousness shattering.  This has certainly occurred to me, and most recently felt quite certain.

When I first began to write this post, I was a bit confounded by a fresh experience that I had. My friend was supposed to spend the night and I went to visit her at her job before going home. She mentioned that she would rather go home that night and it was no bother since I was feeling wiped out from a long week and completely under the weather.

That night as I was falling asleep I noticed that there was a grey alien in my bedroom. Now, when I say that there was a grey alien in my bedroom I am not being completely literal in a 3d way. I mean that I could sense and feel and see (with my mind's eye) the presence of this being. I have written before about the greys and their bad wrap. I have also shared about how one in particular has helped me for quite some time- for which I am thankful. I have also had the peculiar sense that there is some sort of ship above my apartment building in Brooklyn. I simply have seen so many strange thingies in the sky by my house to call them UFOs.  Anyhow, this grey kept approaching me and attempting to do work on me. I grumpily rejected it, telling it with my mind to go away. The strange thing is that it was persistent. It would not let up no matter how many times I said no- that I didn't want to be touched or handled that night, however I had the distinct feeling that this grey was trying to help me and that I had let it approach me and agreed to do this work. It just so happened that I was extremely sleepy and unwell and that combination usually turns me into a big grump. After several minutes of this back and forth I yelled at the grey and told it NOOOO. I got so flustered that in my mind I stated, "You know what, I am going to wake up right now and turn on the light and the minute I turn on the light you will not even be here." So I did.

I hastily threw the blankets off of me, moved my dog out of the way and turned the light on. I was in my room, alone- as I had expected. Being flustered from this strange interaction, I decided that it wouldn't suit me to simply go back to sleep, that I would rather get up and shake it off. I decided to do this by going to the bathroom though I didn't need to go. As I was crossing the hallway to the bathroom door, I heard someone's keys in the lock of the front door.  My dog quickly sprang up and started barking and I walked toward the front door flipping the lights on as I went. The door cracked open and I could see my friend on the other side. Seeing her was a relief and surprise since she'd told me only hours before that she was going to go home rather than stay at mine. We spoke for a moment and I followed her to the bathroom where I turned that light on for her and told her about what had happened to me. She gave me a hug and told me not to worry. Then the oddest thing happened... I went directly from her hug to my bed- supine in darkness. I awoke very confused by this, I was just hugging her, I thought.  I turned on a light and looked at the clock- 2:48, there's no way that she would be out of work this early. I got up and went to the living room but she wasn't there. It dawned on me that I had, A- been abducted, which makes no sense by the way, because I willingly go up to the ships at night and do work and learning, or B) this grey projected a scenario into my mind that would make my consciousness comfortable enough for the work I had pre-agreed to let him do to be carried out, or C) that my friend's higher self actually teleported to protect me and make me feel safe, or D) a combination of the above.

When I spoke to my friend the following morning she said that she'd finished work early the night before and a while before 3 am she had a very protective feeling over me. So as these things go, who knows exactly what transpired. I do know that the greys work with both of us, one in particular works as one of our shared guides, and others try to take her places in her dream time.

So let me pre apologize because this is going to be a long post, but I think it's important because I sense that many of us are being worked on by the greys right now.

Another time with another friend about a half dozen showed up while I was giving her a Reiki treatment. We both saw them and felt them. However this experience stands out because they actually entered our bodies. We were both a bit disturbed by this because while it wasn't violent or creepy it did feel like an intrusion. (This is when that post about contracts and pre-agreements comes in handy.) I spoke to a very lovely woman about this particular experience and she was able to figure out what happened quite easily. She explained that we kept nearing the energetic frequency that was necessary to perform the highest healing possible, but neither of us could hold it for long enough. Basically they entered our bodies to kind of up our frequency long enough for this to happen. Cool right?

So the reason I put this post off is because I still felt conflicted by all of this interaction with the greys. There is a spiritual war going on and most human beings are kind of like babies when it comes to using our full dimensional powers/tools to interact with higher dimensional beings.  It is important to be careful, judicious, and vigilant about who and what you let into your sphere. Not to say that you can't learn from having negative interactions, but the last thing I want is for destructive or mischief beings to be hanging around me- or any of you really. Your choice. Anyhow, I was sort of digesting it all. Digesting my own fear as well. Why do I have such an intense visceral blockage to these particular aliens?  I suppose we have been programmed to fear them... and no one is immune to programming. But seriously- it seemed strange to me that I just blocked myself from speaking on this.

And then yesterday happened. During my daily meditation I found myself in complete stillness until I began to notice many being convening and communing in this meditation with me. I saw the grey's face very nearby, sort of looking at me, sort of not. And when I caught his gaze I recognized this sadness around my heartspace. In the middle of my meditation I began crying, not tiny baby tears, but full on giant weeping, sobbing tears. I realized just how little I know about everything that is happening and how my fear made me act callously toward this particular being that has shown unconditional love toward me. I realized that everything we think we know is an illusion, an innocent way of trying to classify the divine in our limited human way, and acting in a childlike human way. I reached out toward the grey with my light body and circled him in my arms, he was "surprisingly" receptive. From the center of my heart that pain and fear that barred me from connecting to him fully dissipated into gratitude and love and appreciation, I couldn't believe that I had never consciously embraced this gentle being before now. As did this, I saw giant wings encircle my body and was literally surrounded by the many different beings that I interact with- even those I interact with only on occasion, my angels were so happy and supportive of this moment.  From my heartspace I also sent out waves of love and gratitude to all of them and I sent it toward myself as well, and my higher self and my physical body, for carrying me through this mission, for having patience with me despite the amount of "time" it has taken me to tap in and remember. Even now as I write, I am overcome by gratitude and humbled by the show of so much trust and faith and protection that tears are welling up in my eyes.  They are tears of love.

I have no idea what will happen in the next days, weeks or months. Life, as it becomes more magical, also has a way of shaking lose any expectations or plans that I had before this remembering. Sort of floating in between many things over here, grateful as anything to be alive, to enjoy the sweetness of breath and the ecstasy of my loved ones' laughter.  The more I know, the more I don't know, more and more I see that life is not in black and white, but grey. Grey is everywhere and everything, the harmony of black and white. The place where we shine our light.

in & out

Hi Everyone!

I hope you are all doing super well. So I am writing because some interesting things are happening much more commonly these days.  First off, there is this wonderful acknowledgment to anchor the energies that we have all worked so hard to build and remember by grounding ourselves.  A few weeks ago after a week laden with energy work toward myself and others my friend and I decided to do an Arcturian DNA activation for 12.12.12. In conjunction with all of the work that I had been conducting and receiving I felt that I had enough. I was spending so much time deep within myself and out of myself in meditation in the energy earth and I began to feel completely exhausted. This is to be expected since we were and ARE definitely seeing some shifts through the last months of the year, but it didn't feel honest. So I found myself doing more "earth bound" activities, more of the "mundane" as so many folks have advised me to do.

I have always found drinking to be incredibly grounding. But there is a danger to enjoying too many spirits... they have their own agenda and if you let them, they will gladly take over the space you hold for them and run amok.  Just like I wouldn't invite communication with every being, it's important to create those positive boundaries in 3d as well.  So, I don't want to get caught in the trap of drinking to ground my energy.  What to do? I ate sugar, that was cool until I realized that it was making my blood hot. I danced, well- I dance, but that certainly doesn't calm me down. I reground after meditation but I then find that I am generally uninterested in most things and it is difficult to have conversations with most people. I don't want that...

I started taking moldavite baths to make outer conversations more stimulating. But then people couldn't really understand what I was laughing about when they were talking to me about life things. I didn't understand either, I just know that I was enjoying myself significantly more. Follow your bliss, right?

Now I am settling and beginning to accept being in & out of this energetic space and not expecting myself to be one thing or another. Not expect myself to stay or leave, to want or reject... to be accepting of the fact that I am in between- sometimes being more there and sometimes being more here, and knowing that both are an expression of the same exact beingness. The idea is ultimately moving without judgement for myself or others. Sound familiar?

Speaking of in & out, another phenomenon that I have become aware of is A LOT of folks getting sick and being in and out of being sick.  Upgrades. Also, there is a high incidence of injury, Upgrades. And there is a lot of violence irrupting right now. RESISTANCE.

Breathe into the aspects of yourself and others that are resisting. It sounds silly- how do you breathe into others... but it's not. Imagine that your breath can create a more loving space in the part of them that is compressed and restricted. Ultimately it will be their freewill choice to receive this intention or not, but it is likely that you will be able to interact with resisting aspects of yourselves more compassionately after having set the empathic and nurturing attention around it.

Anyhow, a rambling post about many things- but I hope any of this helps.

Love you,
Nicole

Ascension

ascension |əˈsenSHən|noun [ in sing. ]the act of rising to an important position or a higher level: his ascension to the ranks of pop star.• ( Ascension )the ascent of Christ into heaven on the fortieth day after the Resurrection.
For about 2 and half weeks before the 21st I was plagued by knowledge.  This appears to be an odd statement because we often find that the more we know and discover, the better equipped we are to make decisions that are more equitable for ourselves and each other. 
What I am referring to in particular is the resurfacing of an issue that I thought I had released some time ago- feeling weighted down by knowing. Feeling proud of my knowing in a deceptive way, a way that subtlety leads me to believe that I carry the burden of a knowledge that leads me to a freedom that feels more like enslavement to my own mind. 
I am not interested in this slavery. We have learned so much in 3d and it is time to be fully compassionate toward ourselves. First off, to recognize that we cannot solely live in our heart or our minds, but in order to anchor the lesson of polarity we must accept that both the heart- the feeling and intuitive organ and the mind- the thinking and reasoning organ are equally as important as the other. In fact, it is the harmonizing of these two vital organ that allows us to progress and ascend. 
The night before I left New York City I went on three shamanic journeys with my girlfriends- fellow star seeds who I am incredibly fortunate to have in my life. The journey I led was a journey to reconnect with what our business was in Atlantis. While one of my friends was able to journey and recollect very clearly to what her life and job was like, the other found herself unable to fully go through the journey- instead being taught the nature of energetic exchange between two human beings and how energy moves in between two people. The movement of that energy is the shape of infinity. And it is clear to see imbalanced exchanges between two people when you practice paying attention to where the center of that infinity symbol lies in the space between your bodies.  
Our own bodies emit an energetic field similar in shape to that of the earth- a horus.  What is interesting about our chakras is that they each emit the same energetic field, creating an almost fountain-like appearance from each one- a field that defies all logic and gravity.  The REALLY cool part that became evident to me recently at "night school" is the part where between each chakra in our own body, there is a symbol of infinity flowing and present to harmonize the flow of energy between the chakras- so we are no longer dealing with a straight up and down flow of energy like in the old paradigm, we now have this beautiful OMEGA symbol that moves forward and backward in the space and time of our body, through the past, present and future that holds the life force in our energetic body and moves as we direct it to do so.  
This OMEGA symbol has become increasingly significant to me within the last few weeks because I have noticed it mostly in the passage from my brain to my hearth, converging as my throat and high heart depending on where my energy is.  In this meeting place I have discovered a space that I either didn't notice before, or that has only now revealed itself to me.  This is a space of deep trust in the environment I am creating around me. There is no scarcity here, and in fact there is much stillness. 
About two or three months ago I began knowing that I had already ascended.  I realized that our projection and expectation of what would happen on the 21st was another foray into the age of polarity, another opportunity to truly address our own mind and acknowledge whether or not it was in synch with our own heart. People really worked themselves up about what might happen- especially in the light worker community.  The experience of the 21st was so "disappointing" in a very 3rd dimensional way for many folks... but that is just it.
If we want to move past the age of polarity, we must embrace our 3rd dimensional expectations as parts of our former selves that urgently need healing and releasing. Treat it as you would a child, with great compassion... we are children in our galactic evolution. 
Lately I have received a great deal of information regarding about how I appear to people in their dreams, or as they're walking down the street or in their thoughts. And on the other end of that, I have heard "light workers" say things like, "I can't wait to teleport"... 
If you are fully expecting to teleport somewhere with your entire physicality than I suggest you connect with your guides and angels and ask them to help you let go...
The point of the higher dimensions, is that we do not need these meat suits to be present. In fact, most of you have recognized or thought or accepted that these meat suits are a projection of the density of the 3rd dimension. So... following that train of logic perhaps we could become less dogmatic about the way we think about teleportation, telepathy, remote viewing, etc. Chances are that is will not "LOOK" the way that we expected it to look because that expectation it fully rooted in 3rd dimensional logic and density... everything from here on up becomes and is much more subtle.  This means that we should truly pay attention to our need for "evidence".  The evidence of ascension is all around us and mostly importantly, it is within us.  
Many people have written about how painful their disappointment has been. This is an opportunity for you to recognize that disappointment as your own resistance to what it happening around you, to release your expectations and welcome the abundance of higher energies and consciousness despite that they may not have been what you envisioned.  
The very cool part, I sense, is the fact that things don't appear to be terribly different from what they were before. For me this means that we were already inherently divine beings worthy of and possessing the gifts we need to live the life we want to live- to experience the world we want to experience.  How cool is that?!
Please keep in mind that many of you (us) are currently in 4-D, this means that whatever your thoughts and wherever your energy- they will manifest much more quickly. Stay centered in yourself and in the vision of the world you wish to create, it will happen and the reality of your conscious desires may actually surprise you. 
We need shadow and light, we need knowledge and ignorance, we need fear and hope... these are the tools that will help us to truly build the perfect situation for ourselves. They will show us what we can leave behind and what we want more of.
Know that you are perfect, know that you are exactly what and where you need to be or otherwise you simply wouldn't. Recognize the illusion of "rising to a higher position" than the one you are currently in, one that was perfected by you and the great creator.
Travel in innocence and protection always.
My love,Nicole